Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Something to Make Your Eyes Water, By Alix Malka

Lately, as I've been trying to get back into photography, I've been spending time clicking through the seemingly endless photo albums of artists whose manipulation of light, position, color, and composition have set them apart the rest.  

One artist who has unknowingly become one of my muses is fashion photographer and stylist, Alix Malka.  

 I think the thing I admire the most about Malka, is his ability to use bold, brassy colors to create soft, ethereal scenes that lock you in.  

Malka has worked with names like Vogue, Numero Magazine, Citizen K Magazine and H&M.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Made My Summer:

Joseph Gordon Levitt is such a ballerrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Zac Efron and Kristen Bell Do New PSA For StandUp2Cancer

Check out the new PSA for StandUp2Cancer, which features celebs like Zac Efron, Dakota Fanning, Kristen Bell, and Vanessa Anne Hudgens getting into sucky, unlikely situations.

StandUp2Cancer is an awesome organisation through which you can donate money that goes towards Cancer research!

Check out the vid: 

You can find out more information about StandUp2Cancer at http://www.standup2cancer.org/

Ima Robot is on Slightly Less Drugs

Here's some new stuff from LA band, Ima Robot. 

If you know anything about these guys, you'll know that when they released their previous album -Monument to the Masses- which came with the wicked single "CREEPS ME OUT", these guys had an awesomely bizarre, alien-like sound that reeked of long nights spent dropping acid and huffing bug spray.

Their new song, Ruthless, (off the album entitled Another Man's Treasure) which was released this summer, has a melodic new sound that you can dance to. 

I can't actually prove that the guys from Ima Robot are on less drugs.. (or on drugs at all) but lets be real, this video is trippy as balls!  You don't get these ideas by watching PBS!

Check it out:

..and this is just an awesome pic from the group's myspace:
you dont do this unless you're on drugs

Ten Things You Can Learn From Summer Concerts: The Art of Music, Sweat, and Taking advantage of People

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the 10th annual SIREN MUSIC FESTIVAL, which takes place at the rickety heart of NY: Coney Island. 

As I entered what looked like hipster heaven, I didnt expect to get much from the day; maybe ringing ears, an awkward sunburn, or a stack of CD's that I didnt need, but hastily bought..

but at the end of the night, I realized that I had gotten so much more: knowledge.  

Here's what I learned, broken down into 10 (plus 1) easy steps:

1)  Dont wear sunglasses in the mosh pit.  
You will lose them.  I don't want to talk about it.

2) Your next best friend may be just around the corner!
Summer concerts are a hotbed for obnoxiously chummy behavior.

These kind of events always end up LOADED with approval-seeking types desperate to make friends. You'll see high fives, hugs, and often unnecessary sharing.

Here's an example of dialog that might spontaneously take place:
"Hey bro!"
"Whats up dude!  Nice t-shirt!"
"Thanks mayn!  Want me to lift you up so you can crowd surf??"

Keep a look out!  You never know which one of these saps will be willing to express this new-found friendship in the form of cold, hard cash.  Or at least buy you a sandwich.

3) If you've got long hair, put that jawn in a ponytail! 
NO ONE wants to choke on that mess!  I can't tell you how many times I've gotten my fingers snagged in a thicket of someone's hot, sweaty, matted hair or pulled out long strands of hair from my throat.  So Gross.  And unnecessary.

4) Crowd surfing is a good way to get violated.   
That "random" hand slip and sudden palm grip were nooo coincidence! 
For some, besides an occasional goodnight kiss from mom, "helping" people crowd surf is the only physical contact they will have.. and they'll take all they can get their sweaty little hands on!

5) Crowds are a hot, sweaty mess.
Some other words that describe crowd atmosphere are moist, clammy, drippy, slippery, salty and... pruney.
As in: Is that your sweat or my sweat?  Either way, don't lick your lips.. ick

6) If you have a fairly decent camera and a dark pair of shades, you can get people to do just about anything!    
Looking official is the key in this farse!  If you tell people they could get on the internet for doing something you want, they'll do anything! 

EVERYONE wants to photographed and everyone wants be famous.  
Even if people act shy, everyone is secretly a whore for the camera (coming from the biggest of them all)-- . Take advantage of this.

7)  People in tight, rowdy, crowds get hot, dehydrated, and desperate FAST!  Take advantage of this!
I traded a guy a half empty bottle of warm water for his advanced place in the crowd!  It went something like:

Hey!! Does anyone have anything to drink!??  Water?  Anything! Please!
(sounding desperate)

I have water.

Can I have it??

I pull the water out of my backpack and show it to him.  As he reaches for it, I snatch it back!
Can me and my friends get in front of you in the crowd?

Yes! Sure, Whatever! (Ever so thankful) Thank you!

No, my friend.  Thank you.

--And thats a little lesson on Real Estate--

8) Fake singing guarantees good time.
You probably only came for one or two of the bands; the rest most likely suck, but quietly nodding your head and tapping your toes is boring.

I like to pretend like I know all the songs.  I just erratically scream out unheard of noises in random notes that surprise even me!  I don't care about the side eyes I get from people standing in ear shot, I'm just trying to have a good time!

9) Do everything you can do to avoid the porter potties
...unless you're trying to contract 21 types of herpes. Why would you want to be locked in a hot, musty chamber full of other people's poop in the first place?  Keep it classy: bring a pee-jug.

10)  Put on deoderant. and pack extra.
Self Explanatory. Ya nasty.
I smelled the kind of B.O. that causes nose bleeds while at Siren Fest.  You're not in 7th grade.  Don't get all funky and rub your pits all over everyone.  I don't care if you have a sweating problem! Contain that.

11) Only the strong and aggressive make it to the front of the crowd.
If you really want the ability to say that you tasted the sweat of the lead singer, got your ear drums blasted out by the speakers, or were the crazy kid that got restrained/tazed by stage security, you're gonna have to work for it!

It's a dog eat dog, world in the front, and you're gonna have to throw some elbows and knock some little kids to the ground in order to get where you want.

You ever palm a kid in the face?  I have.  And I also held hands with Matt AND Kim from Matt and Kim that same day.

--And thats all I can tell you, jabronies. Take what you will. Comment if you can think of anything better.  Though I doubt it.--

Check out all my pics from Siren Fest here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2421361&id=9030110&l=25be035165

Siren Fest official site: http://siren.villagevoice.com/2010/

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Audrina Patridge (OfficialAudrina) on Twitter

Did anyone know that Audrina Patridge is going to be staring in a sequel... to Honey??

She just tweeted about it


Couldnt she be content being dumb on MTV??   She's a real piece of work...

At least we know no one is gonna watch this!

this is going to be a trainwreck. And I'm pretty sure I'm good at PREDICTING THIS STUFF!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Heidi and Spencer Call It Quits!

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Soooo heres something we didnt see coming:  MTV's reality nightmares Spencer and Heidi Pratt have split up!

Whew! It's about time!

This comes days after Heidi's mysterious "I Am Woman" tweet: "I am not Heidi Pratt, I am Heidi Montag."

And it all makes sense now!

Heidi's reps told TMZ on Friday,
"Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls."

Wait-- Is this a recent thing?  Because I'm pretty sure White Beard has been throwing Heidi under the bus for years now!

But there's more good news for Heidi, who, thanks to her new grapefruit-sized bubbies, now looks like an Icelandic hooker!  Heidi's reps go on to say that she is now looking for a place of her own and "wants to focus on her acting career."

SCORE!  Now homegirl can put her REAL talents to use!  Maybe now she can play Jenna Jameson in a Lifetime Original Movie!
Imagine what kind of babies they would've spawned!

It's about time Heidi wisened up, but to tell you the truth, there are a few things I'm going to miss... hating about Speidi!

  • I'll miss hating their constant, PDA
Though something tells me that, like the warmth I feel in my heart after watching High School Musical, this feeling won't last for long..
Because just like the worst case of jock itch, Spencer and Heidi have a way of coming back when you least expect it!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Pre-Summer Tunezzz

Local Natives benefits from free local advertising

One thing I love doing during the hot summer months is going to summer concerts and festivals. 

Whether they're in a crowded city park or in some far-flung country field, these outdoor music fests are an excuse for all you die-hard fans to lose your voice, not shower for days, and let out that rable-rousing, closeted band freak that you keep pent up for the sake of public appearances! 

Two bands that I'm trying to see this summer are  Local Natives and Empire of the Sun.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

No Mo' Fox

Transformers 3 starts filming this summer!  But this time, filming for the explosive Michael Bay movie will go on without the hard-to-miss presence of the narcissistic, bird brained, media-wench, Megan Fox.  

Fox's representatives say the 23 year old hot bod has made the decision not to return on her own, saying "She wishes the franchise the best."

Now if there's one thing I hate more than a liar, it's a bad liar... with a studder.  If I wanted to hear that kind of jibber jab, I would've gone to an AA meeting.  

I'm no media professional, but I'm gonna guess that the decision probably has more to do with...

  • or maybe (just maybe) it's just because she plain-old sucks??

The search is now on to find a new leading lady to fill Fox's size 7 clodhoppers as Shia LaBeouf's love interest.  Producers are considering gals like Scarlett Johansen, Amanda Seyfried, and Miley Cyrus...  Imagine!

But for those of you weeping inside for Ms. Fox's absence, don't worry, you'll be able to see her this summer in the movie that's sure to be a blockbuster, Jonah Hex!
And if it's anything like that work of art, Jennifer's Body, I think Fox will do juuuust fine!

I'm Baaack!

There are many things I love about the warm spring and summer months;

  • Gorging to your heart's content at awkward family bbq's 
  • oh-so-short jean shorts 
  • and all the embarrassing, drunken parents who take advantage of the extra hours of daylight to go buckwild at six flags.

School is out for summer and yes, that means I'm poor, jobless, and facing a whopper of a recession, but it also means that I can finally get back to the thing that matters the most.. no, I'm not talking about going green!  I'm talking about this blooog!

SO, this summer, you can expect Toy Story 3, The Hills finally ending, more Twilight and Shrek movies, and more Toast of Today!

Enjoy those shorts!


Friday, March 12, 2010

Hold Your Horses' Art-Savy Music Video

For those of you who've spent hours in an Art Appreciation class wondering "How is this going to enrich my life?", prepare to be enriched.

In the colorful new music video for their song "70 Million", French band, Hold Your Horses globbed on  some make-up and threw on a wig or two to re-enact scenes from many of the famous works of art we've grown to love... or scratch our heads at.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Alex Jolicoeur Tries Chat Roulette

So, lately, everyone has been talking about that homespun website, Chat Roulette that was started by that Russian kid. (You know the one)

Well, if you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what I’m talking about, Chat Roulette is a new, fun, and usually creepy website sets people up from around the world for random video chat.

I was told beforehand, that while the site is oodles of fun, it’s mostly full of horndogs looking for girls to flash their boobs, creeps in masks, and random dudes with their yoinkers out on cam…

Buuut because I never listen to the talk of the town, I decided to figure out for myself, exactly what was keeping my friends locked in their rooms for hours at a time!

Right off the bat, I found some colorful new characters!

There are some folks who just want some random cheerful banter

It took no time for me to find a creep in the darkness


And a ghoulish man-chest.
The later it got, the more peens came out.

I even had an almost celebrity citing!!!
(such a fan)

But seriously, I actually did meet a lot of cool people and have several sweet conversations.

but you just can't let them get too far!

Then I found some real awesome heroes!

Who got me thinking... How could I get the most out of chat roulette??
Then I realized.. Costumesss!

BTW: I'm Scorpion, from Mortal Kombat, for those of you who know nothing about life.

Right away, I was recognised!

I even scared a few jabronies.

NOT surprisingly, many folks even wanted to BE me!!!

Though, some people didnt have a clue.

It didnt take long for me to make some enemies...

Some people thought I was a terrorist, and wanted me dead... like this hot mess, who just signed up for the marine corps.
I feel safer already!

But after hours of chat roulette, I was more confused than ever!
>> Why was it that no one I wanted to talk to, wanted to talk to me?

>> And why were old men on this site at 3:00 in the morning? I mean.. I'm a bored college kid with no life, shouldn't they have jobs to get up for in the morning??

>> And why on earth would anyone think that the Taliban are going to be using chat roulette to get their message out to the world?

"Oook.. I guess I'll just keep pressing F9 till I find one of my Jihad homies.."

"Hey! Whats up dude!"


But I dont judge!

(actually, I judge a lot)

In the end, I realized that despite all the obscene male nudity, chat roulette is a wonderful place where curious young minds and skeezy old creeps can meet to have unforgetable conversation!

If word gets out about this little jem, it might just put Chucky Cheese out of business!

The Monster site, itself: http://chatroulette.com/

good luck.