Friday, May 28, 2010

Heidi and Spencer Call It Quits!

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Soooo heres something we didnt see coming:  MTV's reality nightmares Spencer and Heidi Pratt have split up!

Whew! It's about time!

This comes days after Heidi's mysterious "I Am Woman" tweet: "I am not Heidi Pratt, I am Heidi Montag."

And it all makes sense now!

Heidi's reps told TMZ on Friday,
"Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls."

Wait-- Is this a recent thing?  Because I'm pretty sure White Beard has been throwing Heidi under the bus for years now!

But there's more good news for Heidi, who, thanks to her new grapefruit-sized bubbies, now looks like an Icelandic hooker!  Heidi's reps go on to say that she is now looking for a place of her own and "wants to focus on her acting career."

SCORE!  Now homegirl can put her REAL talents to use!  Maybe now she can play Jenna Jameson in a Lifetime Original Movie!
Imagine what kind of babies they would've spawned!

It's about time Heidi wisened up, but to tell you the truth, there are a few things I'm going to miss... hating about Speidi!

  • I'll miss hating their constant, PDA
Though something tells me that, like the warmth I feel in my heart after watching High School Musical, this feeling won't last for long..
Because just like the worst case of jock itch, Spencer and Heidi have a way of coming back when you least expect it!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Pre-Summer Tunezzz

Local Natives benefits from free local advertising

One thing I love doing during the hot summer months is going to summer concerts and festivals. 

Whether they're in a crowded city park or in some far-flung country field, these outdoor music fests are an excuse for all you die-hard fans to lose your voice, not shower for days, and let out that rable-rousing, closeted band freak that you keep pent up for the sake of public appearances! 

Two bands that I'm trying to see this summer are  Local Natives and Empire of the Sun.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

No Mo' Fox

Transformers 3 starts filming this summer!  But this time, filming for the explosive Michael Bay movie will go on without the hard-to-miss presence of the narcissistic, bird brained, media-wench, Megan Fox.  

Fox's representatives say the 23 year old hot bod has made the decision not to return on her own, saying "She wishes the franchise the best."

Now if there's one thing I hate more than a liar, it's a bad liar... with a studder.  If I wanted to hear that kind of jibber jab, I would've gone to an AA meeting.  

I'm no media professional, but I'm gonna guess that the decision probably has more to do with...

  • or maybe (just maybe) it's just because she plain-old sucks??

The search is now on to find a new leading lady to fill Fox's size 7 clodhoppers as Shia LaBeouf's love interest.  Producers are considering gals like Scarlett Johansen, Amanda Seyfried, and Miley Cyrus...  Imagine!

But for those of you weeping inside for Ms. Fox's absence, don't worry, you'll be able to see her this summer in the movie that's sure to be a blockbuster, Jonah Hex!
And if it's anything like that work of art, Jennifer's Body, I think Fox will do juuuust fine!

I'm Baaack!

There are many things I love about the warm spring and summer months;

  • Gorging to your heart's content at awkward family bbq's 
  • oh-so-short jean shorts 
  • and all the embarrassing, drunken parents who take advantage of the extra hours of daylight to go buckwild at six flags.

School is out for summer and yes, that means I'm poor, jobless, and facing a whopper of a recession, but it also means that I can finally get back to the thing that matters the most.. no, I'm not talking about going green!  I'm talking about this blooog!

SO, this summer, you can expect Toy Story 3, The Hills finally ending, more Twilight and Shrek movies, and more Toast of Today!

Enjoy those shorts!